Its part of who i am.WARNING

Thats it ive become addicted. Its like being addicted to drugs, Alcohol or fags. You cant help it once you have the urge you need to do it. I hate myself for it. Im sorry to the people that i hurt along the way. I wish i could change but i cant. The blade is my new bestfriend its there for me when im down it helps me take away the pain. Sickening i know. Sad i know. Why do i do it? I really dont know. What triggers it? I also dont know. Does it hurt? At the time no. Strangely enough i enjoy it -_- I HATE MYSELF for it. I wish i could stop just like that but i cant. Im not normal. I will NEVER be normal.

A message to you.

Depression is not something that will go away in a click of my fingers. I hate the fact i have it and id do anything i mean anything to get rid of it.
Im pushing away the people i love the most i dont mean to but im not mentally stable to love people!
I want to tell people how i feel but i cant. Its so hard to explain it all this is why im writing this so maybe people will understand why i am the way i am.
I do love the people who love me but i cant show it instead i lash out at the slightest thing.
Everyday im in a foul mood, everyday i think about harming myself and evreyday i think im better off out of peoples lifes but i know my children need me, Maybe when you read this you will think twice about telling me to go slit me wrists or take and OD. Maybe you will support me instead of hate me.
I just want to say im sorry if i have ever upset anyone.