Dark place

I'm really in a dark place! My emotions are all over the place I feel lost! I don't even know why. I have everything a loving family, my beautiful babies, a house and an amazing boyfriend. I'm trying so hard not to cut or do anything stupid. Although its all I ever think of. I just want to stay in bed all day but I can't. I just want to be happy again! Cpn meeting next Tuesday I'm shitting it! I have no clue what to expect :( life sucks at times