I just want to be normal.

I don't feel normal!

I just want to be normal, But what is normal?
To me normal is, being able to wake up without worrying if today is going to be a down day, to be able to go out alone without panicking or having random panic attacks over nothing. To me normal is being able to go into a crowded place alone without feeling like everyone is staring,laughing and talking about me. People say there is no normal, But to me there is. I feel alone, feel as if no one knows whats going on, But i know damn well their are people out there that are going through the exact same as me. Maybe one day just maybe i will be able to leave the house without worrying or wake up happy. But i know that's never going to happen. Mental illness is not something to make fun of, No one knows you have it, you suffer in silence all the time and when you do tell people you get accused of being an attention seeker or lying about it. No one ever has a right to judge people with a mental illness unless they have been through it. But i suppose its a hurdle in everyday life that some people have to go through.