No one know what goes on behind closed doors.

I feel so alone.

Every day is a battle, I have to cope with two children, depression and everyday crap. Everyone seems to hate me, For what reason? i dont know. I try and brush it off but its eating me away inside slowly. I have no real life friends only internet friends which im thankful for, I know i can talk to them without them judging me, I also have my family, My mum isnt just a mum she is my best friend i can tell her anything.
I my self am a self harmer, When i get down and depressed i cut myself, It relieves all the pain i have building up inside, No im not proud of that infact im ashamed! i hate myself for doing it but its the only way. No one will ever understand what im going through or what ive been through they just sit ad slag me off every chance they get. Im not a bad person, i try to love every one but its hard when all i get is criticism, I am the way i am because of my history not because i chose to be this way, If i could change trust me i would.
Maybe one day just maybe people will try and understand me and give me less hate. All i ever do is try my best for people and i get it thrown back in my face. I have turned to tattoos and piercings to relieve my stress hence why i have so many. i havent cut my self in months yes ive had thoughts of it but ive never gone through with it.